Sunday, 16 June 2013

To You, Dad

"I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't" ~ George
"Yeah. That never really changes" ~ Christina 
Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Episode 12

My dad died, very suddenly, when I was 16.  How it has affected my life and the person I am today is immeasurable. It's influenced my relationships, my career, and the type of person I try to be. I aim to make him proud every day. Most days, it's just an awareness. A subtle feeling of something missing; something not quite right. Other days, like my wedding day and the day that I received my doctorate, that feeling is more intrusive. There are calendar days like today that have some significance, too. Today is Fathers Day in the UK. I can remember a Fathers Day years and years ago when I made my dad a card with a textured picture of a cooked breakfast and included a £1 coin for him to go to Asda and have a fry up treat. My five year old self was very proud! I wish he was here today. I wish I could take him for a fry up and share our news. I wish he could meet M. I wish I had taken more time to listen and learn his stories.  Lots of wishes! But, today, I am thankful for everything my dad was, and continues to be, to me. I am thankful for the influence he has on my life and hope that he is as proud of me as I am to be his.  


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